Since we’re talking this week about not questioning your partner’s reasons for every small decision they make, I did a quick mental review of my own behavior. Did I question my husband about small choices that didn’t really matter? As I considered it, I quickly realized that I frequently do that with my husband’s parenting choices.
Now, I should make it clear right here that my husband is an excellent parent. He is a caring, involved parent who sticks right in there through the good and bad times of parenting. Any advantage that I have over him in the area of understanding our daughter comes only from the fact that he is gone for 8 hours a day for work, while I’m with her all day, but he is observant and has good intuition, so he rarely needs help from me. He has taken care of her on his own on several occasions, and I have come home to a happy, healthy, content baby.
So why do I feel the need the question the small decisions he makes with our daughter? I do question him frequently. “Why did you dress her in that?” or “Don’t you think you should put her down for a nap?” or “Why are you feeding her that?” The truth is, he can be trusted to make good decisions, so I should stop bugging him. I think my behavior comes from a desire to feel needed, and maybe a desire to feel better than him. I’m not proud of that, but I think it’s the truth. Neither of those are good things, so I’m going to try to step back and little bit more and let him parent without my input. I’m sure he will appreciate it, and I will be a better person for it.