I’d say the title of today’s post pretty much says it all. You may think I’m exaggerating when I say I hate change, but I truly am not. I’m the sort of person who hates every song on the radio at least the first five times I hear them, just because they are new. The sort of person who is guarded around new people because I’m not sure what changes they will cause in my life. The sort of person who hates, hates, hates moving because it causes so darn many changes. I’m not saying it’s a good things, just that it’s my reality.
I’m having a difficult time right now because my husband and I are in the middle of a huge change: becoming parents. Those who say that everything changes when you have a child are perhaps stating the truth mildly. If nothing else, it should be stated in a loud voice or using capital letters. Since I’m not great with change, I struggle with accepting the changes, specifically the changes to my relationship.
There were many changes that I expected when having a baby. For example, I expected to have disrupted nights for a while. I expected to have more trouble going places on a whim. Some of the changes to my relationship, however, have been unexpected. I didn’t expect that I would not go to sleep at the same time as my husband anymore, or comprehend just how little time we would have to talk to each other, since one of us is always busy taking care of our daughter.
This week’s strategy of making peace with change has served as a good reminder for me to relax and accept the changes in my life. As we discussed on Tuesday, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I shouldn’t do anything to make things as good as possible. I’ll still look for ways to spend time connecting with my husband as partners instead of just as parents. It just means that instead of resenting or worrying about the changes, I’m trying to accept the fact that things change. That means that it’s okay to have things be different than they were before our daughter was born, and that the future will be different as well as she gets older, and that’s okay too. Our relationship will endure and adapt through the years not because it stays the same, but because we work together through the changes to come to make our relationship stronger and stronger over time.