My husband’s most powerful ambition right now is to get into a career path that he enjoys. He has a steady job that supports me and our daughter and allows me to stay home with our daughter, and I’m very appreciative of that. If he were happy with his career, I would be happy to stay right where we are doing just what we’re doing. Unfortunately, he feels like the career path he is on right now is not a good fit for him, and he has been searching for a new job.
At first I thought he would be getting a new job quickly. When he started applying, I was still working, and I warned my employer that I might have to leave abruptly before the end of my contract if my husband got a job. The end of my contract came and went, and still no new job for my husband. It’s been a year and a half now, and there is no new job in sight. Obviously this is really difficult for my husband, and it makes it difficult for me to stay supportive as well. Even though I know he is doing his best to find a new job, I find myself slipping out of the supportive frame of mind at times and finding myself tempted to make sarcastic comments or make helpful suggestions as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
One of the things that I’ve noticed about marriage is that it makes supporting your partner more difficult because you may have to sustain that support over a long period of time. If it takes your partner 5 years, 10 years, 20 years to reach their goal, it can get progressively harder to stay supportive. I’m hoping that my husband will not take 5, 10, 20 years or more to make his career goals come true, and I really doubt that he will. If he does, though, I’m in this for the long haul, and I’ll be reminding myself over and over for as long as necessary to keeping moving back into a supportive frame of mind.