Since our challenge this week was about saying “I love you” to our spouses in the right ways (and avoiding that terrible phrase, “I love you, but…”) I was on the lookout for opportunities to say “I love you” to my husband. Unfortunately, for my husband, saying the words wouldn’t do much. I respond very strongly to words, but my husband has very little reaction to them, so I had to find another way.
Fortunately for me, an opportunity to say “I love you” came up, and I was quick to jump on the chance. For my husband’s job, he had an opportunity to go to San Francisco for a conference, and he mentioned that maybe I could come with him.
The only problem was that I found out shortly before the conference that I had an opportunity for a job that day. I am a substitute teacher, so jobs come up infrequently and on short notice. The reasons not to go started to add up. I had work for that day, I hadn’t gotten the dog vaccinated yet so she could go to a kennel, we would have to pay for a kennel, and on and on.
One of my (many) weaknesses is that I sometimes prioritize my work over my husband, but fortunately, this week I was focusing on saying “I love you,” and I knew that going on the trip would say exactly that to my husband. I turned down the subbing, got a last minute vet appointment to get the dog’s vaccinations, and made a reservation at the kennel.
While my goal in doing nice things for my husband is to make him happy, not to get benefits for myself, I am often amazed by the positive things that caring for my husband brings to my life. We had a fun trip together, and got to stay in a hotel overlooking the San Francisco bay, complete with lovely palm trees. I also got to visit the beautiful Peninsula Humane Society, which was very interesting because I regularly volunteer for animal shelters (more on this next week when we discuss the benefits of volunteering).
Most importantly, though, because I spoke to my husband in his love language (quality time) instead of mine (words of affirmation), he was able to really feel my love. And that, after all, is the goal, day after day.