Being at home with a baby all day can be stressful, and I dump that stress on my husband when he gets home more often than I would like. Just yesterday, I decided that the way to end a rough day would be to have a serious discussion with my husband right after he returned home. Specifically, I wanted to talk to him about how I wanted him to do more around the house. Unfortunately, I decided to have this conversation with him before I released my stress from the day, and without giving him time to let go his. As you might expect, the discussion quickly turn into an argument.
We all have bad days. Days when everything has gone wrong. Days when we want to walk in the house and slammed the door. And that’s okay. Really! We’ve already discussed the fact that your partner is human, and that goes for you too. You’re allowed to have a bad day. The trick is to keep that bad day from negatively affecting your relationship. It’s tempting after a long day to come home and unload your struggles on your partner, or even worse, to direct your frustration at your partner. Unfortunately, either solution brings negativity into your relationship.
Usually during Wednesday’s blog, I like to give you a variety of resources related to our topic of the week, but this week I found one resource so good that I’m going to focus on just that one for this week. We are talking this week about focusing more on the positive when we share with our partners about how our day went. The obvious first step to doing this is to focus more on the positive that happens in your day so you have plenty of positive things to discuss with your partner at the end of each day. One high school in Salem, Utah, has been helping its students to focus in the positive, and I think the steps they have been following are an excellent example to follow. So if you want to focus more on the positive in your day, imitate the students at Salem Hills High School and follow these steps daily:
- Write down three things you are grateful for first thing each morning
- At the same time, write down one positive thing that happened to you in the past 24 hours
- Do some kind of exercise daily
- Take time each day to meditate. Note that if you are uncomfortable with the eastern style of meditation, spending time in prayer or a relaxing ritual can have similar effects
- Look for an opportunity to do one random act of kindness each day
If you follow these steps each day, the day when you won’t have anything positive to share with your partner at the end of the day will be a rare one! For more about the project at Salem Hills High School, check out this article: http://goodthinkinc.com/project/daily-herald-salem-high-students-and-faculty-focusing-on-the-positive/